Aging Parents

Last night over dinner with friends, our conversation turned to that all too common topic, how do we deal with the situations of our aging parents. We especially struggle as our parents lose their strength and mental ability. We wish they'd give up driving, but know that is unrealistic, if they are to live independently. We worry about their finances, and pray they will give us more oversight and control in these areas. We agonize over their relaxed attitudes about medications and therapies, even when these attitudes have led to 9-1-1 calls and hospital stays. Our attempts to engage paid caregivers or other resources are rebuffed as intrusive and extravagant.

It is especially hard for those of us live half a continent or more away from our parents. Too many around us assume that if we really cared, we'd move back close to our parents, or uproot our folks and drop them in some care facility near here. This is, I think, the universal fear of our elders.

To complicate all this are the varying expectations of our siblings, especially those who are acting as on-site caregivers, or have done this in the past. Who makes the hard decisions? How do we balance safety and security against independence and freedom? I'm beginning to think that question touches deeper concerns than our aging elders. What do you think?

Photo by RebelBlueAngel