'Tis the Season! Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Dongzhi or Yule, there is a civil holiday season that overarches all of these religious holidays. This civil holiday season seems to begin with Black Friday as its high holy day, launching a frenzy of consumption. Unless you live completely off the grid, you are finding yourself bombarded with messages to shop and spend, to decorate and illuminate, to entertain and party.
Many of us Unitarian Universalists find ourselves under stress at this time of year, and it is not just because of the frenetic level of activity of the season. We find ourselves consciously or unconsciously in conflict with the messages and values presented by the holiday season. Many of us find our desire to live sustainably on this earth in conflict with the hyper-consumption encouraged by the culture. We don't want our loved ones to think of us as Scrooges, but how do we show our love in non-material ways?
Others of us have discomfort with the Christmas story. We know "Christ's Mass" is a minor holiday with a long and complex history. It was not celebrated by our Puritan ancestors, as they saw it as theologically suspect. While we're no longer Puritans, many of us, as Pagans, or Humanists, or Mystics, find the Biblical story unsatisfying. Yet, we love much that surrounds Christmas: the carols, the tree, the candles, the child as a symbol of new life and hope.
Others of us have a hard time with the seasonal emphasis on celebration and joy. Maybe we are quiet by nature, contemplative, and all this extraverted exuberance is just draining for us. Or maybe we've suffered the loss of a loved one, and our grief wells up during this season. Whether the loss is recent, or this time of year is an anniversary of past loss, we find the celebration around us increases the intensity of our grief.
Others find the season amplifies family tensions, and we struggle to satisfy the conflicting desires of modern multi-nuclear families. Whose house do we go to on Christmas morning? How do we meld diverse traditions? Can we let go of our hopes for a Normal Rockwell image of the family gathering and accept our families as they are?
One of the things I love about Unitarian Universalism is that we can be intentional about how we practice our religion, as individuals and as a community. We can choose theology, teaching, tradition and ritual that makes sense for us. After all, we have been called heretics, which means 'able to choose'. Thus, I encourage each of us to make choosing a spiritual practice, especially around the holidays. Take time to contemplate what parts of the holiday season bring joy and satisfaction for you and your family, and choose how you celebrate. Pay attention to what brings you stress, and begin to change it. Ask those around you to help with these changes. Choose to make this holiday season one that makes you and yours more whole, more joyful, and more alive.
Photo by cherrypatter.
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