Thoughts on Grieving

I've been the officiant for a couple of memorial services recently. To prepare, I speak with the family, and write an eulogy, prayers and other words, and help them choose readings or hymns if they wish. I'm finding this work is emotionally challenging on many levels. Certainly, I'm helping people who are in various states of grief. Sometimes I connect and offer help, and sometimes I fear I'm of little help.

I also find myself triggered, and my own grief is stirred up. We usually include a brief 'Words on Grief', and in this, we remind people that every loss brings back every previous grief and loss they've suffered. I'm finding that this applies to me, too. One of the recent services was for a woman who was a nurse in the War, and this brings back thoughts of my mother. I can't normally share this with the grieving people, so I carry it elsewhere. But it is there, and in a peculiar way, I appreciate that this comes up. It is a gift that comes with serving people who suffer a loss, that I can connect with that suffering through my own past losses.

Photo by Milad Gheisari [Sepulture {regret}]