Three Memorial Services

This was a busy weekend at the church. At a time when many of the fall programs are hitting their stride, we had three deaths in the community, and the three memorial services were scheduled for this weekend. It couldn't be helped. As Rev. Janne says, "we don't say no to a memorial service" for one of our extended community. Thus, I found myself helping out, trying to be a pastoral presence, a source of calm in the swirl of activity around such services. This, while I lit candles, set up chairs, and handed out orders of service. I was just one of many wonderful staff people and volunteers that offered their help.
I observed different levels of involvement by friends and family at these various services. I'm realizing that some people need a high level of activity immediately after a loss, possibly as a way to cope with their intense emotions around the loss. For others, such activity may just add to the chaos, and they may avoid even attending a memorial service at all. Such people may even ask that a service not be held for them after they die. But I do believe that the memorial is for the living: in the weeks and months that come after a death, the memorial service becomes an important memory and a clear way to mark the closing of a chapter in the lives of those who live on.

Image by Magnus Forrester-Barker