9-11 and "The Guys"

This is the week of the sixth anniversary of 9-11, and many of us have reflected on our changing attitudes about the events of that tragic day. Some of my thinking was driven by the film "The Guys" with Sigourney Weaver and Anthony LaPaglia. LaPaglia plays a NYC fire department captain that must eulogize a number of his company who died in 9-11, and asks Weaver, a writer, to help him write the eulogies. The film, based on a screenplay, was recommended to me as a new minister as it provides a good textbook education of this task.
LaPaglia must present memorial words for both familiar old friends and unknown new firefighters. Weaver helps him (and us) understand that while they are all heroes, they must at the same time be remembered as humans with all their quirks and uniquenesses.
As one who expects to assist people in expressing their remembrances of the lives of family or friends, I found this most helpful and reassuring. I have consoled people who have lost loved ones before, and I understand some of this, the remembering, the questions why, the pain, but it was good to see how one does the work of transmitting all this, of forming it into something that could be spoken to an audience of family, friends and strangers.
But this play has incredible passionate power, and tears emerge unexpectedly. I grieve even as I write this. The Guys was written shortly after 9-11, by Anne Nelson, and first presented off Broadway on Dec. 4, 2001 according to the IMDB website. The play carries a rawness about the event, a locality and presence that is now long gone. I remember that feeling. In the pain of those early days, there was one thing I rejoiced in, and that was the connection that we all felt with those around us. And yet, this connection is a scary feeling for most of us; we avoid these emotions. Even in the play, the firefighter struggles at times with the intense emotions he has around his guys, and Weaver wisely brings him back to those emotions so that the work of remembering could be done.
I think as a nation, we collectively chose to avoid these emotions. As a nation we sought anesthetization. I think I can now begin to forgive President Bush, for he was a mere instrument, a tool, that we used as a nation to help us avoid those feelings. Our invasion of Iraq let us off the emotional hook, and we set these hard issues aside. We could blame Saddam rather than rail against God, we could strike out instead of just be present with our pain.
Part of remembering is returning, it is trying to recover the sense, if not the intensity, of the emotions we felt at that time, in that place, with those persons who we remember. Words are weak tools for doing this, but most times they are all we have. I feel honored to be in the role of crafting those words for others.